2020: A Year that will Live in Infamy

Did you ever feel guilty that you had something good happen when others might not have had the same experience? It took me a few days to write this blog because I am experiencing some guilt. When I reflect on 2020, I can only conclude that it was a good year for me and those in my close circle of friends. We found purpose, direction, and connection during this time out. 

Exactly one year ago, I decided that I will retire from university teaching in August, 2022 and I would utilize a lifetime of teaching skills to create online courses to supplement my retirement income so I afford to continue my travels around the world and make a difference in women's lives. My dream has always been to be a writer, speaker, and influencer. This was the plan, and I spent my winter holiday learning online platforms, video editing, and strategies for effective online teaching. I had no idea what I was learning to do would become the center of my life in the upcoming year.

The COVID-19 pandemic has been a very frightening time for everyone-including me. I am in my 50’s, overweight, and a diabetic. I have done my best to stay at a distance, quarantine at home, wear a mask, but fully realize some of my friends have done the same and contracted the virus. I have chosen to live most of my life online. What was a necessity has become an opportunity. As you will see, I have had no problem filling my time with meaningful activities. 

February-Quick Pivot at the University: COVID hit and our Spring break was extended another week to put our courses online quickly. I switched on my video camera, set up the lights, and boom- four online courses ready to go thanks to my new knowledge and equipment bought over winter break.

March-Quick Online Course for Seniors: My sister, an administrator at a geriatric facility, asked if I could create an online course for seniors. I used the new online business model I studied over the winter break and created a Five-Step Blueprint to Writing Your Memoirs course. I shared the course with my friends and mentored 30 folks in writing their stories. One published a book a few weeks ago! I was thrilled to be interviewed by the local newspaper and TV news station. 

April-Leader of a Virtual International Women’s Community: starting in March and continuing through July, I organized a group of seven women to host nightly group zoom calls. We served thousands of women and gave them a place to connect with others through the quarantine lockdown. Many groups have since broken off from our initiative and serve their communities through similar support groups.

May- University Teaching Closes: this was the longest two months of my teaching career. Not because we were online but because there were so many university students needing emotional support, motivation and connection. I felt so inadequate but brought them all to the finish line to pick up their three credits of general education. While there were a few working on incompletes these last six months, I was relieved that I did not have to return to the online college classroom for a year.

July- Researcher and Filmmaker: I started a project summer in 2019 and continued to research, lead student researchers, and a student filmmaker through to the completion of this project in summer, 2020. It was the hundredth anniversary of women’s right to vote in both the UK and USA, however the celebration was anti-climatic because everyone’s attention was on the pandemic. We finished, posted the video online, and I am proud of everyone’s efforts.

August-Conference Host and Broadcaster: In August, I tried my hand at online conference production. We raised $1000 for a local LGBTQ youth initiative and I learned how to use a new online platform. It was a win-win for everyone!

August-Author: After eight years of traveling, facilitating roundtables, and interviewing women stepping into their sexual power, I self-published for the first time. I am very grateful to find an editor to lead me to the finish line. 

September- Event Producer: So many of my friends cancelled their big events. I moved our yearly outdoor festival to an online event. Practicing in August certainly helped us create an event that was fun, engaged the audience, and had few technical glitches. The online format proved very difficult to run a contest, however, we lived, learned, and hope not to have to do this online in 2021. If we have to, we’ve got this.

October- Library Scholar-in-Residence: After seven months of working from home and not going further than 10 miles from my house, I was raring to go by October. I accepted Vi Johnson's, head griot at the Carter-Johnson Leather Library and Collection, invitation to be their first scholar-in-residence. I spent the most fabulous few weeks reading, learning, writing, and connecting with the library staff. I arrived with one book idea and left with so much more!

November-Online Personality: In November, I started Tuesdays with Toni, an online Facebook live broadcast, to promote my book and 2021 podcast, Radical Rhythm. I developed a small following of engaging, interesting, and sexy women. It was a great start to what 2021 will look like.

December-Workshop Host: I finished 2020 with a beta (practice) workshop of Overcoming Fears of Your Sexual Fantasies without Embarrassment. Ten friends attended and it was more powerful than I could have possibly imagined. 2020 has been very challenging to so many and this workshop super charged my intention to help self-empower women and celebrate their sexuality.

The strong lesson I imagine is be careful what you wish for! My dreams did not manifest themselves in 2022, they became a reality in 2020. I am incredibly grateful to be on sabbatical during this tumultuous time. I stay mindful that I am called to serve and help empower women. After quickly switching from face-to-face teaching to online teaching, I was extremely blessed to have a full-time salary, be able to work from home, and experiment with new mediums to begin my new journey. 

Thank you for being a part of my 2020 journey. I hope you will join me in 2021.

Toni Bear, Ed.D.