Want New Friends or a Date? Here’s How to Become Magnetic

A few years ago, I attended a high-end businesswomen’s retreat. You know, one of those where we’re supposed to talk about scaling our businesses, self-care routines, and morning affirmations.

And I played along. Until…

Someone asked me, “So, what do you do?”

“I’m a sexologist,” I answered, as casually as someone might say, I’m in real estate.

And suddenly, the energy shifted. The room got quieter. Eyes darted to me like I had just whispered the secret to eternal youth.

That night at dinner, the conversation turned—naturally—to relationships. Over the next few days, it became a pattern. In hallways, on hikes, by the pool—each woman pulled me aside to ask something deeply personal about sex, attraction, or why they felt stuck in their relationships.

Here’s what I learned: We are ALL craving deeper connection.

Whether we’re looking for new friendships or a partner, what we really want is to feel seen, understood, and excited about life.

So how do you become that person? The one people are naturally drawn to? The one who effortlessly attracts new friends—or a date who’s actually worth your time?

Let’s break it down.

Step One: Become More Interesting

People aren’t just drawn to good looks. They’re drawn to energy. Your vibe. Your passion. Your curiosity.

And science backs it up. A study in Personality and Individual Differences found that people with a variety of experiences and interests were rated as more attractive and engaging than those with surface-level lives (Swami & Furnham, 2008).

1. Develop a Passion That Lights You Up

The sexiest thing about you? Your interests. When you’re lit up by something—art, activism, kink, nature, books—you become magnetic.

2. Say Yes to New Experiences

Want more friends? More dates? Get out of your rut. A study in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships showed that people who regularly try novel activities are seen as more attractive and exciting (Aron et al., 2000).

Say yes to that hiking group. That cooking class. That retreat you’ve been eyeing. You’ll grow—and you’ll meet people who are growing, too.

3. Ask Better Questions & Actually Listen

Want to be the most interesting person in the room? Don’t talk. Ask.
Try:
💬 “What lights you up lately?”
💬 “What’s the boldest thing you’ve done this year?”
💬 “If you could redo any moment in life, would you?”

Real connection starts with real curiosity.

🔁 When you step into a life that excites YOU, others naturally want in. But it doesn’t stop at being interesting—you also have to learn how to project that energy.

Step Two: Master the Art of Attraction

We’re not just talking about physical attraction here—we’re talking about energetic attraction. The thing that makes people lean in, want to get to know you, want to stay.

And guess what? It’s 100% learnable.

1. Walk with Confidence (Even If You Have to Fake It)

In a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, researchers found that even faking confident body language makes people appear more attractive (Carney et al., 2010).

Shoulders back. Chin up. Eyes forward. Walk like you mean it.

2. Flirt with Life

Flirting isn’t just for potential lovers—it’s how you show up playfully in the world. A wink. A tease. A bold compliment. Flirt with the barista. Flirt with the moment. Flirt with possibility.

3. Be Unpredictable (In the Best Way)

People love surprises. Do the unexpected. Be the person who texts first, switches up the plan, or dances in the rain. You’ll be remembered—because you’re not boring.

4. Make People Feel Seen

The #1 magnet? Make others feel important. Compliment something specific. Remember something they said. Ask follow-ups. When people feel seen, they feel safe—and that’s the deepest kind of attraction.

🔁 You’ve got the vibe. You’ve got the energy. Now it’s time to take it into the real world and start building the relationships you deserve.

Step Three: Expand Your Social Circle

You’re magnetic. People want to know you. So now what? It’s time to put yourself in the room.

1. Go Where Interesting People Go – Attend workshops, events, meetups, or retreats (like mine!) where aligned people show up.

2. Join a Community – Whether it’s a club event, a women’s empowerment group, or a spiritual collective, you need places where your vibe is matched.

3. Follow Up Like a Boss – Don’t ghost a great connection. Text. Call. Plan something. Most people want to be invited. Be the one who initiates.

4. Host a Gathering – Want deeper friendships? Invite people into your world. Dinner parties. Hikes. Cuddle puddles. Whatever fits your vibe.

🔁 Connection requires intention. And now that you know how to attract aligned people, the final step is the most important one: owning who you are.

Final Thought: Own Who You Are

If you remember nothing else from this blog, remember this:

The most magnetic people are the ones who are unapologetically themselves.

They’re not playing roles. They’re not diluting their truth to please the crowd. They’re living a life that feels good from the inside out.

So stop asking, “Am I likable enough?”

Start asking, “Am I living a life that lights me up?”

Because when you are, people can’t help but be drawn to you.

🔁 And if you’re ready to keep this conversation going—where it’s safe, sexy, and all the masks come off—I have something for you…

Let’s Keep This Conversation Going…

Remember that retreat where each woman whispered her deepest questions to me?

That’s why I created the Unstoppable Women’s Collective—a private, members-only space for real, uncensored conversations about love, attraction, confidence, and sexuality.

✨ Here’s what’s inside:
💋 Exclusive guided discussions
💋 Monthly Love Labs on passion & connection
💋 Playbooks to transform your love life
💋 Biweekly “Brew & You” chats—like a heart-to-heart coffee date

It’s a space to be curious, bold, magnetic, and wildly YOU.

👉 Come join us. Doors are open → https://www.skool.com/unstoppablewomenscollective/about