Becoming Crone

I could feel it and I knew it. At first, I thought it was just a feeling my bones. Medical science verified that I do, indeed, have moderate arthritis in my lower back, knees and thumb. If COVID taught me anything, it certainly has let me know that my natural hair is very gray. I had no idea! I have been dying my hair for decades. Sure, a few gray strands here and there. But NO, its almost completely gray! Perhaps I have been fooling myself this last decade or so. I’ve gotten older.

But this is not why I am writing this blog this morning. Yes, I’m older but something else has been happening as well. I feel a shift. Two months ago, I wrote, I witnessed my transition from mother of movements to the beauty, wisdom, and fire of the crone in my journal. Suddenly, I no longer have the energy for creating something new. I feel a calmness. I feel that I have a bit of wisdom to share with the next generation.

I looked for an image to accompany this blog and see that the crone almost always is represented as an old woman with wrinkles, long gray hair and a scowl on her face. Every crone drawing looked like an old witch! So, why would one want to embrace her crone years if it means that there is no more beauty? I’ve seen so many beautiful older women. Does a crone have to be ugly?

As I read about the crone, I found a few theories as to why a crone might be depicted as an unattractive woman. Barbara Walker wrote: “The Crone’s title was related to the word crown and she represented the power of the ancient tribal matriarch who made the moral and legal decisions for her subjects and descendants. It was the medieval metamorphosis of the wise woman into the witch that changed the word Crone from a compliment to an insult and established the stereotype of malevolent old womanhood that continues to haunt elder women today.” (Walker, 1983, The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets). Ok, so men are afraid of powerful, wise women and created this stereotype! And Jean Shinoda Bolen wrote in her book, Goddesses in Older Women (2014), this stage of life as being “like the fresh green of spring, where she welcomes new growth and possibilities in herself and others… where there is something solid about her being an adult whose life has borne fruit through cultivation and pruning, as well as tempering and work.” A fresh green Spring sounds so much better than "old hag"! 

While I have a head full of gray hairs and a round meno-pot for a midriff, I have the twinkle in my knowing, bright, blue eyes and a strong, confident stride forward. I embrace this rite of passage into an era of wisdom, leadership, healing, personal power and all of the magic the crone years has to offer. Just as the phases of maiden and motherhood have sacred purposes, so does the crone. This is a phase of “becoming” and “crowning” into new growth and purpose.

From years of experience, I know that this next phase of life will be as awesome as I make it. We have a choice to bring joy into our lives or move around with a scowl on our face. I have given to many as a mother, and now look forward to receiving the universe’s embrace, as crone.  

Toni Bear, Ed.D.